a cup of job

the explanation.

2006-05-13T18:05:00.000-05:00

"I killed the President because he was the enemy of the good people, the good working people. I am not sorry for my crime."

- Leon Czolgosz (last words before being electrocuted for the assassination of president William McKinley, 1902)

the line.

2006-05-01T21:54:00.000-05:00

i saw United 93 tonite.

through the whole movie i walked the line between loyalty for my country and the lies they have told me so many times.

tonite that line was never so thin.

something has to be done about 9.11...

"let's roll!"

the best song ever written?

2006-03-03T01:25:00.000-06:00

take a walk on the wild side.

...and decide.

the bob dylan quote.

2006-02-21T14:00:00.000-06:00

in a 1991 interview bob dylan gave to rolling stone in which dylan was asked, on the occasion of his 50th birthday, if he was happy. dylan replied,

"those are yuppie words, happiness and unhappiness.
its not happiness or
unhappiness, its blessed or unblessed."

happy is a yuppie word. ole' bob is right, whether
we're happy or not is really beside the point. we're either blessed or we're
not.

i am truly blessed. thanks for the reminder bob.

the life before.

2006-02-09T23:48:00.000-06:00

In a Past Life...

You Were: An Arrogant Philosopher.
Where You Lived: Russia.
How You Died: Buried alive.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

as if there was any doubt.

the name thing.

2006-02-08T00:53:00.000-06:00

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (your pet and street name) tag dover.

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on mother's side first name, favorite candy) ray nestle.

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) d-jon.

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, name of high school mascot) cheetah indian.

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) allen georgetown.

6. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of opposite sex parent, cell phone Company you use) linda alltel.

7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name) jonsontag.

i ripped this off of cayton's myspace. he's a dreamboat.

the tribute.

2006-01-29T18:41:00.000-06:00

i haven't updated this thing, this 'blog' in just short of a month. big surprise. like my life, i'm inconsistent here.

oh, by the way...this is a tribute. a tribute to what you may ask? click the link you lazy bastard. geez.

okay, that was a little harsh. i'm sorry. i'll tell you.

a few days ago i visited jeff's blogger, daily pilgrimage, and noticed that he had set up a section on his sidebar of a few choice posts of old. my first instinct was to read professional americans where i would freshly take in jeff and my's music video cherry popping. but no! i chose the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. well, it insured an update here anyway. didn't mean to go all robert frost on you there. no, i clicked on the writing that i remembered showed the blogging world a quick glance into the true soul of one, jeffrey sherry.

or i was completely wrong.

and the lord came unto jonah a second time saying... showcased some of jeff's real, honest thoughts and feelings. insecurities. the things that guys like jeff and i like to avoid talking about at nearly any cost. we change the subject, we keep a surface relationship with a friend who could be much more to us, and most commonly...we joke. we demand ourselves to be 'the funny guys' and force ourselves to spew shananagans almost without signs of stopping. to put it bluntly; we bullshit. and with the best of them, might i boast.

"not this time!" i can almost hear jeff as he sat on our haggard, 1970's style, atleast 400 pound couch in front of our euqally haggard make-shift entertainment center that hosted my old computer.

how's that for a run-on sentence?

proclaiming that the jokes were put on hold for a few fleeting moments and the non-b.s. inside of jeff could bleed through his fingertips as he typed the aforementioned post.

what can i say? i was inspired. this isn't the first time my good friend has inspired me...he has more times than he'll ever know. inspired me to give the one-liners a rest and bleed a little myself. so, jeff, this is a tribute.

here's to being real. it's been too long.

the apology.

2006-01-07T15:50:00.000-06:00

"you are responsible for the spread of germs"

found on the wall above a urinal @ the southwest power station, springfield, mo.

I apologize. I had no idea the spreading of germs was soley on my shoulders.

...or more accurately; my hands.

my goodness, what have I done?

eh.

waddaya gonna do?

the seinfeld approach.

2005-10-31T17:26:00.000-06:00

after stumbling over my good friend jeff's blogger, unfortunately titled daily pilgrimage i am now forced to update my blogger as well.

darn you, jeff. darn you to heck!

in one of jeff's latest title-crippling accounts, he talked, or more acturately typed, that while he often zips out a title faster than the critically acclaimed greased lightnin' incident of february 6th 2005, i put careful thought into mine...as much thought as over two months he claims.

by alas, my dear friend jeff sherry, i haven't spent these two-plus months breaking my mind, body and spirit to come up with just the right title for my next blogging event.

...uh, i just kinda forgot i had this thing.

so ha to you, mr. sherry. i say ha!

i simply take what i like to call 'the seinfeld approach'. every title starts with 'the'. pretty simple, yet affective.

anyway.

i've been spending my days with my pregnant wife stephanie, preparing in any and every form possible for the quickly approaching birth of our daughter.

awww.

SILENCE!

just kidding.

we haven't decided on a name yet. although we're leaning towards emma grace. if you have any suggestions...well, suggest them.

the rest of my time has been stretched over work at nite and writing in an e-fed i recently joined after over two years of hiatus from the 'game'. the particular e-fed i am a member of is the cwf and i'm doing quite well. go me.

well, i'd love to write more, but i have to go grocery shopping with some hot brunette.

and by 'hot brunette' i mean my wife.

oh yeah.

the moon isn't made of honey.

2005-08-18T13:25:00.000-05:00

i have to admit, naming each post is nearly as exciting as the actual writing of any given post. my ears even seem to perk when a preacher says the name of his message, and i'm always disappointed when one of them will say; 'i don't like giving names to my messages.'

why?

it's all the rage, as they say. or said, more accurately...in the fifties.

i've realized something. i prefer and nearly always do, write out number amounts, rather than just punch it in with the number keys. and i use the number keys above the letter keys instead of the ten key pad, which really gets jeff's goat.

(note to self: return jeff's goat.)

i love the fact that i almost always set down in front of this computer with some sort of theme or story to put down in this little box. and yet, i rarely get to the meat of anything important. for example, or i.e., if you prefer. i wanted to write about being married and the wedding, the honeymoon. you know, things that matter. and yet, i open with jibber-jabber, as the now-preacher mr. t would say.

so i did indeed get married saturday. i was so unbelievably nervous that i couldn't possibly describe it to you and give it justice. i didn't eat all day, and only took one drink of water and one drink of tea - and that was just before the ceremony. jeff, kyle and myself took what seemed to be a thousand pictures, most of which were goofy and ridiculous. the word 'snoogans' was definitely the word of the nite, as we all said it hoping the others would laugh - and we did.

while sitting in a side room, waiting for the show to get on the proverbial road, jeff, kyle and i - namely kyle and i - sang random country songs. including, but not limited to, songs such as; 'country boy can survive' and 'God blessed the broken road'.

before i knew it, dale day, the minister, had led us in a prayer and we were walking to the stage. and then the bridal march began to play and i seemed to stop breathing from then on as i saw stephanie being walked down the aisle by her father. no, it wasn't a killer look in her father's eye that left me unable to work my lungs, but stephanie, in all her beauty that confounded my ability to take in air. as i told her as we stood there, i just didn't have the appropriate words to get across to her how unbelievably gorgeous she was at that moment. i mean, she looks beautiful to me in the morning when her hair is a mess and the make-up is long gone...but, wow, any previous time i said she was beautiful was made a lie when she appeared in her wedding dress. her beauty at that moment in time was a mystery to me and still is.

i cried.

hey, don't laugh, i didn't have to tell you. thankfully most of my tears came during a prayer, so no one actually saw the aforementioned crying.

we exited to, in my opinion atleast, the coolest exit music ever heard at a wedding. that's right, '500 miles' by the proclaimers. everyone laughed and thought it was well done.

afterwards we were showered with gifts and financial gains. i was even slipped a twenty dollar bill through the handshake of one of stephanie's uncles. that was surely the coolest way i've ever been given cash. i hope to do it myself someday.

we stayed at stephanie's house that nite, she was very tired. i was too, to be honest. the next day we left for branson, which is like a hollywood for the elderly. or what hollywood would've been had walt himself discovered it. we stayed at a holiday inn express in one of their king suites. it was alot nicer than i imagined. it had two bathrooms, two t.v.'s and a whirlpool tub. while in branson, we went on the 'ride the ducks' (which i'll refrain from speaking about now because it really does warrant it's own post.) and went on the branson showboat and saw an awesome show including singing, dancing and magic. all-in-all it was a pretty good time. we got back tuesday nite and had an argument.

what?

did you think honeymoons were perfect days filled with fun and laughter and nites flooding with endless romantic passion?

you apparently didn't read the name of this post.

did you?

the canadian-esque.

2005-08-10T04:28:00.000-05:00

ever have your heart skip a beat? in that one instant you are forced to come to terms with your own mortality. the reality that one day, not very far off, your heart is going to completely stop pumping.

it really makes you think.

i have to admit that the above statement was from a draft that i began writing on 4.14.05. after reading jeff's second to last post i've been inspired, via by jeff's boldness and fortitude to 'man up', so to speak, or because of our shared shame of being to procrastination what hulk hogan and bret hart are to professional wrestling. i'm pretty sure it's the latter. whatever the case, lets get on with this...i really hate italics.

so...it's been a while, eh?

why do i write 'eh'? i don't say 'eh' in my everyday life, not even on some sort of secretive, self-holy, set-aside day in, let's say, late october, where i make it a point to showcase the candian-esque word.

and why do i write in long, how-be-it, really cool and humorous sounding stints? again, i don't talk like this.

maybe it's the 'filmmaker' thing. where every director shows you through his or her's movies how they see the world, or, more likely, would like to see it.

i wish i talked like that. i think i do, anyway. on a quick-ended second thought, i don't. because then you always have to talk like that.

and that is alot of pressure. i can't live up to those kind of expectations. i can't even pass academic seminar.

wow, it feels really good to be writing again. i just had to tell you. and by 'you' i mean jeff and any other unsuspecting fool who stumbles over this blog.

i'm getting married saturday.

yeah, me, married. who thought that was possible. a woman who will, soberly, and purposely want to enter into holy matrimony with me.

incase you haven't picked up on it yet, i'll let you in on a little secret.

ready?

i'm pessimistic.

i know, shocking.

i'm also quite sarcastic, apparently.

or just a prick.

you decide. or better yet, i'll just admit to it. no, not that i'm a prick, that i'm sarcastic.

wisenheimer.

like i said before, i'm getting married saturday. my good friends jeff sherry AKA robin williams and kyle williams AKA boomhower are coming in from the 'heart of it all', ohio, tomorrow. jeff will be driving, and be coming back for good, while kyle has chosen the easier, and smarter vehicle, of flying. of course, he leaves sunday morning.

i've given jeff the old 'AKA' of said actor and comedian, because their likenesses are strinkingly similar, especially when looking at the film 'good will hunting' where williams sports a well-grown beard.

unfortunately, that's where the similarities stop. williams is rich, talented and surely has a large bookshelf-like container hosting his many acting awards. but to be fair, jeff is way funnier than him.

as for kyle...well...he just looks and talks kinda like boomhower. yep.

my third, and final, groomsmen, patrick teal AKA mac donalds, resides in springfield, and even if he lived out-of-state, couldn't get here because of his car...or lack-there-of.

his 'AKA' derides from his pronunciation of the restaurant mcdonalds. he is from alabama, though, so cut him a break.

i'm extremely nervous about the aforementioned wedding. it's a big deal. it's not like you get married everyday. this is for good. for life. for keeps.

i think it's healthy to be nervous. and to be honest, i think there is something is every man, or in my case, boy, that fights to the very last second of existence to be free. unbound. unbridled. free as a bird...now. sorry. lynyrd skynyrd quotes are vital to the continuation of society. or the end of it. i guess we'll see.

although i've never liked the drama and risk and everything else that goes along with dating and meeting someone new, sometimes you just want to be able to hop in your car, or if you don't have a convertible and can't actually 'hop' in, or have a convertible and just feel it's foolish to 'hop' in, or more likely, you'd probably come up short and either fall onto the pavement and risk a tailbone injury or land precariously on the door itself...the point is, sometimes you just need to feel like you can do and go whatever and wherever you please, even if you wouldn't actually do or go anything or anywhere.

how's that for a run-on sentence?

stephanie is absolutely the one for me. the fact that i've known her for eight months and she still communicates to me, and not by means of restraining orders, is still to this day astounding to me.

the stress of planning the wedding. the cake, the decorations, the dress, the tuxes, the church, the every little microscopic detail...and my less than glowing and growing relationship between stephanie's mother and sister make things interesting, to say the least.

i'll just be glad when it's over. i know how grim and unwanting that sounds, but it's true. we're both so stressed right now that it defies simple logistics that one, or both of us, hasn't killed a person, or even a small animal, yet.

'yet' being the key-word.

without hopefully becoming a umteen-offense liar, i'll end with these words:

i think i'll start updating this blog reguarly.

i know what you're thinking.

"yeah right." eh?

the sophmore album: merely a freshmen.

2005-04-05T23:21:00.000-05:00

"i won't put myself in this situation again..."

famous last words.

i won't lie and say that i remember saying those eight exact words nearly a year ago. i probably shouldn't of put that phrase in quotations.

oh well.

never-the-less, forgetting about the possible errored wording and grammar folly, i made some comment to that affect about one year ago.

and guess what?

that's right, i did put myself in that situation again.

putting aside the fact that i just recently got saved(i'll explain later), i have struggled with going to class and doing the work i need to get done.

basically i've wasted two years of my life here at college...right?

that statement couldn't be any further from the truth.

now, to be logical and honest, i did lose alot of money. i failed and/or dropped alot of classes. so, after two years in college, i find myself still very much a freshmen. by credit hours, atleast.

but God has blessed me with so many awesome opportunities to minister to hundreds of people and be ministered to. i've been given so many great friends...wow, so many! i've been given endless chances to impact my friends' lives and i actually have, for the better.

so, what next?

i've come to another fork in the road. i can go home to ohio or stay here in missouri. at either place i'd just be working and just living life. here, i have a girlfriend and a christian foundation of friends, and in ohio i would most likely get mixed up with the wrong girls and the wrong friends, once again.

the logical choice is to stay in springfield, and i've decided to stay.

i'm using the services of addecco, a hiring agency, to find me a job. i'll know by friday if they've come up with anything.

then there's the issue of housing. stephanie told me to move in with her, of course. which, to ne honest, sounds great, but i really shouldn't for testimonies sake. patrick said i could move in with him and his roommate and live in their basement.

so, i'll be taking the fall semester off and we'll be out of school from late may until mid-january. which is much needed, as i can definitely forsee myself 'burning out'.

so i need a job and a place to crash...not like an accident, i mean crash as in like a place to dwell, or live...for a while. about eight months...ish.

stephanie and i are doing really well. we've argued quite a bit lately, but as jeff put it, i don't want to be in a relationship where there aren't any arguments.

um...i've had this saved as a draft for five days now, so i'm just going to post it incomplete and start a'new.

thank you for your understanding.

and for you, yeah you, quit whinning!

the cowboy in me.

2005-04-02T10:02:00.000-06:00

jeff always serves for two good things; a) he pisses me off. now this is not to say that he does this all the time, but he seems to hold the figurative key to start me up often enough to mention. and b) he inspires me. whether it be a three-quarter done self portrait he has hanging from his wall, or a bit of writing he has done.

whatever it is, he inspires me.

waking up this morning, i went straight to jeff's ro-- wait, no i didn't. i went straight for the bathroom, my mistake. then i went to jeff's room; straight-like.

upon seeing that my friend was clearly at work, as he preps on saturday mornings, i sat down on the couch in front of the very computer i'm using to type this piece. after shaking my head half in a 'that's jeff for ya', and half 'he should never be allowed control of his own money' kinda way as i looked at his itunes collection that is approaching the two hundred mark; i was bored.

i got up to leave the room...i don't know where i would have actually gone...but spotted jeff's black journal.

oooh.

exactly.

jeff never being a stickler for privacy, the way he is for the law, i sat down and began to unravel the reading.

i read of jeff's struggles, many i already knew of, others i didn't. i read about his continuing search into salvation. i read about the old man, unfortunately, emerging more times than the new in his life.

i was inspired.

don't misconstrue my inspiration. inbetween jeff's search for truth and his losing to the old man, i did not find hope or an inspiring line or song lyric he had left. in fact, i found nothing of the sort.

what inspired me to update this poorly updated logging of my life?

the cowboy.

you see, while in jeff there is the constant battle with the old man, in me, there is a constant battle with the cowboy in me.

why do i call him the cowboy, and not the old man?

because of his nature. he's ever attacking me, always on the prowl. he's young and strong, yet wise and crafty all the same.

oh, make no mistake, he's not an old codger by any means. he's a young, soul thirsty, rough, rowdy and dangerous outlaw riding into the sunset that is as red and firery as the hell it surely leads to. and everyday i can be found watering my horse, whether it be with lusts of the flesh, or wisdom of the word, preparing him for one of two trails we will ride.

the broad trail. this trail is wide and made of soft clay, easy on the horses' hooves. one side is lined with fruit trees, the other with a stream of clean, clear, cold, water. there are many intriguing, arousing stops along the way to further cushion your ride. but this path's scenery and pleasantness does not correctly portray it's end. for this trail leads down to hell.

the narrow trail. this trail is small and riddled with potholes, dangerous for the health of the horse. one side is a flat, dusty, land with a few trees scattered along the way. the other with a dried up creek that only seems to produce water when you're on the brink of dehydration. eye-pleasing resting spots simply don't exist, only the ground or near-by ditch will cradle you through the night. and even this path's scenery and lack of plesantrees is deceiving to it's end. for this trail leads up to the throne of God.

two words:

cowboy up.

the reason.

2005-03-07T15:28:00.000-06:00

how many chances do you get with love?

yes, i know, what an over-dramatic way to start out a post; but honestly...

how many?

you see, up until november twenty-nineth i would have told you that there is one specific person for each of us and one time you truly fall in love.

why, you ask?

because on 11.29.04, my world, if only figuratively, came to a screetching, rusty, mind-piercing hult when my, then fiance, broke up with me.

no, i don't claim to have met her and fell in love with her in the six months that we dated. i fell in love with her three months before we even started dating.

in retrospect, we moved too fast, and i let things slide by that i shouldn't have. but let me present to you that it was real. my love for her was as real as the keyboard i'm typing on right now.

but that's over...she ended it.

...wh..what now?

am i forever destined to walk this life alone?

and, this hurt, this real hurt, to quote one of my own songs, "will it everfade?"

it's not for lack of future interests that i'm begrudgingly being pulled away from this love and heartache. more than a few beautiful, and more importantly, worth-while ladies have shown interest in me in the last several months.

in fact, there is a girl that i'm actually dating as of friday; her name is stephanie. she is so good to me. she's very affectionate and caring; she loves the Lord, and as a bonus she's even beautiful.

and for reasons i'll never understand, she's in love with me.

but if we have more than one chance at love, why am i not in love with her...?

her name is mandy.

the walking wounded.

2005-03-03T21:29:00.000-06:00

well, it certainly has been quite some time since i last updated this website.

yes...yes it has.

alot has probably happened since my last post. i could rivet you with all the pre-teen details or just tell you nothing and pick up from here.

guess which one i chose? :)

i will share with you a recent god-sent; accountability.

every monday night, my dorm floor has what has come to be known as 'hall meeting'. this semester we have been going through a book entitled, "disciplines of a godly man". two monday's ago, we discussed the chapter on purity and how we, as young men, need accountability. we all broke up into small groups, my group consisting of: john, sergio, brandon, jeff and myself. that thursday, after our weekly prayer meeting, we met in john and sergio's room and began our accountability session. to 'break the ice' and enstill trust amongst the lot of us, we went around the circle and each person revealed their inner-most secret sins. it was indeed an emotional night and we walked out of that room truly connected forever somehow.

since then we've been meeting every monday and thursday and inbetween those days keeping each other accountable on our bible reading and school work.

speaking of school work...

yeah.

not so much.

well, things really got over on me when i got the flu a couple of weeks ago. i missed alot of class and thus missed some homework assignments. i got to make up a test in pneumatology(the study of the holy spirit) and i'm thinking i did really well on it. i need to ask dr. wallace tomorrow if i can make up any tests that i've missed in his class(bible history II).

i've apparently abandoned all use of the library and tutors and no matter how many times ms. rude(academic advisor) tells me i have to go to the library and turn in a sheet documenting that i have been there; i don't.

it's just like when paul writes, and this is a paraphrase mind you, 'the things i should do, i don't do; and the things i shouldn't do, i do do.'

my flesh is selfish, lazy and null and void of the looming consequences of lack of responsibility in my life.

damn this resilient old man...

as much as i've wounded him, he just won't seem to die.

to quote third eye blind, "it's like walking with the wounded."

and, oh yeah...

i've got strep throat.

"...lilac!"

the untitled or titleless.

2005-02-16T15:48:00.000-06:00

i'm not sure what to title this post as of yet. perhaps as i unleash the several days of non-posting momentarily, by the end of my rant i will have found peace of mind...

and a title.

or i'll just call it something lame like, "untitled" or "titleless".

we'll see.

of course if you're reading this on my website, i've already posted it, therefore i've already titled it and i've wasted precious moments of my life jabbering on about my query of coming up with a title for this post.

the post you are reading right now.

right.

now.

anyway.

i'm sorry.

i haven't updated in a long time.

a long time.

i'm gonna stop spacing like this because it's annoying me.

brandon is standing in jeff's room right now. that's where i am, too. he's jewish. well, he's half jewish. the point is, he has a butt the likes of moby dick's circumference. not really...but still. he has a big backside where i, among others, assume his dairy aire is filled with money.

after all...he is jewish.

i had to shave my sideburns today. not completely, but some. you see, at bbc they have rules. stupid rules. yes, some are good, but others - the majority, it seems - are ridiculous. they can't be below your earlobe.

and mine are.

argh! - were.

as you can probably tell, i'm a little perturbed about the issue.

ah, well.

i was probably gonna write more things in this post. but i've lost my will to write.

maybe next time.

and oh, yeah...

it's cup of job, not cup of job.

just thought i'd clarify.

don't want any confusion on the name there.

glad i cleared that up.

have a day.

the sickness.

2005-02-05T09:58:00.000-06:00

have you ever seen howard the duck? random thinking on my part. as i stumbled out of bed this morning, i sat down next to my tired, kinda-sorta roommate on his couch as he laid prone in the fetal position. seemingly out of left field i asked him if he had seen the aformentioned film, and he answered back with a resounding, "yes."

why seemingly, you may ask?

because he looks like howard...the duck.

...his name is jeff, jeff sherry.

let me tell you about this guy.

jeff is from canton, oh. yes, ohio. he works at panera bread where he makes delicious, overpriced sandwiches and dips soups and the like for hungry consumers. he's big into the art and the photography. he's twenty-two years old and lives diagonally across the hall from me in the dorm.

you see, jeff had a roommate once. his name was billy. billy's dead now. he died in a freak pomade fight accident while attending another bible college in california.

...none of that was true. well, the dead part wasn't true. but the rest...golden.

anyway, billy and jeff didn't mesh well together. billy didn't like it when jeff used his computer, even though billy clearly stated that jeff could. and jeff didn't like it when billy, in the dead of winter, mind you, would open the windows in their room; apparently trying to kill the easily chilled jeff.

i had and have my own room, but for a reason still unknown to me this day, i began sleeping on their couch for about a month. the three of us hung out together reguarly. you might even call us 'friends'...i mean, that's what i would call us.

it's not like we had gay sex or anything.

akward pause...and continue.

sorry.

when billy left, i just continued to hang out in here. i say 'here' because i'm in jeff's room as i type this on my computer. no, it's not in my room...i'm not sure why. live with it.

so, that's about the whole story on this jeff guy.

...yep.

i'm sorry he isn't more exciting. remember, he is from ohio, afterall.

wait.

...so am i.

southern ohio, though. not northern.

i don't know what that means.

oh yeah, i almost forgot...

i'm sick.

the brown noise.

2005-02-04T11:00:00.000-06:00

brown. i've somehow taken a liking to this fall foliage color. my ex-fiance first introduced me to the color, sighting that i would look good in it.

i like it.

...it's the new black.

sorry.

i guess i'll tell you a few things about me as a foundation for future posts. my name is dan jones; yes, it's possibly the plainest name next to joe smith - i'm sorry. i'm twenty years old and currently enrolled at baptist bible college(bbc). yes, i'm a christian, and to live up to the title, i promise to be as hypocritical as possible.

can you smell the sarcasm?

...good.

get used to the scent.