the reason.

how many chances do you get with love?

yes, i know, what an over-dramatic way to start out a post; but honestly...

how many?

you see, up until november twenty-nineth i would have told you that there is one specific person for each of us and one time you truly fall in love.

why, you ask?

because on 11.29.04, my world, if only figuratively, came to a screetching, rusty, mind-piercing hult when my, then fiance, broke up with me.

no, i don't claim to have met her and fell in love with her in the six months that we dated. i fell in love with her three months before we even started dating.

in retrospect, we moved too fast, and i let things slide by that i shouldn't have. but let me present to you that it was real. my love for her was as real as the keyboard i'm typing on right now.

but that's over...she ended it.

...wh..what now?

am i forever destined to walk this life alone?

and, this hurt, this real hurt, to quote one of my own songs, "will it everfade?"

it's not for lack of future interests that i'm begrudgingly being pulled away from this love and heartache. more than a few beautiful, and more importantly, worth-while ladies have shown interest in me in the last several months.

in fact, there is a girl that i'm actually dating as of friday; her name is stephanie. she is so good to me. she's very affectionate and caring; she loves the Lord, and as a bonus she's even beautiful.

and for reasons i'll never understand, she's in love with me.

but if we have more than one chance at love, why am i not in love with her...?




her name is mandy.